So some good things are happening…I love my car I’ve had for almost three weeks(of course I haven’t sent in a payment yet), I had a big turnout for the UG picnic I organized this past Saturday at Table Rock.

Yet, even with all of this going on, I still find myself almost continually depressed. Feeling like every avenue of possibility has closed to me and I am almost powerless to make even small changes in my life. That I’ll die alone after a meaningless life. The usual I guess, which is why I won’t bore anyone (including myself) with further detail.

Maybe the time has come for me to put up or shut up and finally see a shrink. I’ve been avoiding it for a long time; horror stories of couch-jockeys who don’t listen and just hand out scripts make me nervous, but I don’t think that analysis itself is the key anymore. Maybe I do have some kind of chemical imbalance that keeps me from enjoying life no matter how hard I try to silence the demons within. Maybe there is a pill that can make me not wish I was dead sometimes and get up with excitement. I kind of doubt it, but I guess it is possible.

2 thoughts on “Depression…smash!

  1. B Matthews says:

    I know the pit you’re in, just know that if you need a friend, I’m there for you. Even tiny little changes can be the pebbles at the beginning of an avalanche of life-change. Part of depression is being stuck in a rut that you can’t see a way out of. Maybe some small changes could lead to bigger changes, and bigger changes could lead to a happier outlook on life? Just a thought. Regardless, I’m happy to be your compatriot in slogging through the trenches of chemically imbalanced living. 🙂

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